Not my day!

House is a mess, kids are not listening, I am yelling, my husband is exhausted, the dog had another accident, and my checkbook is screaming to be balanced.  How did I solve this problem?  I cried!  I cried like a little baby!  I hid in my room and I cried!  My prayers during this bawling mess sounded like this...

Dear Lord, Make this go away.  Help me get my kids to listen.  Why don't they help?  What am I doing wrong?  I am horrible at this, please help me! 

This is not exact, but definitely where my head was!  FIX THIS Lord!  I am going to lay here and cry while you work a miracle for me!  And while you're at it, help me stand up a 30 pound lighter woman with perfect hair and cute clothes!  Thanks!!

Not my day!  That's right!  It isn't my day!  It NEVER should be my day!  It is all about Him! 

I told you about my plan for change!  I did well for a few days and met with God, prayed whole-heartedly, read His word, and gave it all to him!  He used me to witness, help others through prayer, and provided me ample opportunities to talk to my children about His unending faith!  The days were literally filled with Him!  It wasn't my day, it was all for Him and boy did He fill it with glory and blessings!  Even though Justin hit a deer with his truck doing thousands of dollars worth of damage and my son had a severe anxiety attack due to storms, I was calm and God led my words and actions through it all!  Pretty cool!

Yet, I turned my thoughts right back to what I can do to make me happy.  I walked away in my actions.  My desire to love and seek God was there, but the laziness and selfishness sunk in and I was right back to my old habits.  Guess what these days have been like! Ugly, that's what! I have not been satisfied with anything that has come my way.  Grumbling, annoyed, angry, afraid, and self-centered are words that just scratch the surface of my ugly plan for the past few days. 

Why do we stray?  Why do I want these days to be all about me and not my heavenly Father who has provided in so much and thinks and loves me every minute?  I don't have the answer except that I stumble.  Have you seen this new American Ninja Warrior show?  My mom introduced me to it this weekend and it is unbelievable if you haven't seen it.  My life is just like what these guys are doing, except definitely not literally!  Each day I can start prepared and ready or I can jump in and hope for the best.  Luckily our great God gives us 2nd and 3rd and 4th..etc. chances to get to the end of the day!  He is there pushing us, guiding, watching, and letting us struggle sometimes!  However, when I turn it to him BEFORE the race of the day starts, those obstacles shrink and I know with His help I will get to the end!

So, tomorrow is another day!  It will not be my day, it will be all for Him!  I trust that you will turn each day to him, whether you fell yesterday or not, in order to glorify Him!

Shout it From the Rooftops!

Would you look at that!  Shingles that are not warped, falling into my gutters, or missing! We got a new roof put on this week and my silly adult self couldn't be happier!  When I asked my daughter Jaylyn if she is happy that we have a new roof, she replied with, "I don't really care!" My 10-year-old self would have said, "High-five sister!" But as a 34 year old adult, I couldn't be more proud to pull into my driveway and look up.  (On a side note, looking down right now is not the best view as weeds are overtaking my yard!)

This new roof has me really thinking about my relationship with God and this new challenge I have.  The layers and layers of mucky and icky shingles that had to come off before putting on the new roof were such a symbol of my life.  Mucky and icky stuff covered up by new and then becoming mucky and icky, only to be covered up again and then turn mucky and icky again and again and again.  I thought I had life all figured out.  Cover it up, hide it, and nobody would know.  Start fresh, but keep that stuff hidden deep down! Ugly stuff that no one would want to take off and put on their house!  Who wants used and old shingles to be installed on themselves?  Who would want to be like me? 

Then 2 years and 9 months ago, I tore it all off!  I exposed all the ugliness and by golly did it hurt!  It ripped, tore, and was very difficult to do. But.... sweet freedom!  Wednesday as I was watching the guys dig and tear off the old shingles, I imagined my house taking a huge sigh of relief!  My poor house was trying to hold up all of that stuff and it was getting very heavy.  So heavy in fact that pieces of our ceiling in our breezeway didn't want to hold it anymore! That is how I felt.  What a sigh of relief!  I was falling apart and having to bear the weight of it all and I finally let it go.  I gave it all to God!  Almost everyone knows it, but it is worthy to share.  John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:17 is JUST as amazing but one that isn't remembered as much, "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."

Ahhhhhhhhhh!

I am not perfect, but I am new and changed!  I don't have that old stuff weighing me down anymore!  I have Jesus to turn to and save me from my sins!  Before this journey continues for you, have you ever thought about how amazing your life might be if you could rip away the old and become new again!  Eternal life with God our Father is a gift that only takes trust and belief in Jesus Christ.  Believing in his death for our sins and trusting in Him to forgive our sins and work in us is ALL God wants from us!  If you want eternal life and you want to trust God, find a church or a pastor or even a friend who has trusted and talk to them.  Comment to me or even send me an email! I would love to talk with you more about how you too can be new and clean!

So, now that I have God, I want to shout it from the rooftops!  Jesus has saved me, made me new, and He wants to do the same with everyone!  He wants to bear our burdens! In Matthew 11:28 Jesus says, "'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will bring you rest.'" He gives us the relief we are looking for.  God does not cover up the old and hide it for us, he wants us to be completely open and honest with who we are and where we have been.  Only then can He bring me rest and help create a new me!

Let's shout it from the rooftops! 

Heavenly Father,
Thank you for the death, burial, and resurrection of your one and only Son so that my ugliness, sin, and mucky and icky past self can be cleansed and I can be at rest.  You are so good through all of my mess and never forsake me. For that I am truly thankful.  Bless me today as I strive to chase after You and continue to use me to shout your name from the rooftops!
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

I Am...Ready?

I am ready!

Ready for football to start, ready to lose weight, ready to stop yelling, ready to start a new school year, ready to be a productive wife, ready to be a committed prayer warrior, ready to chase after our amazing God, ready to get organized, ready to...

My list could go on and on. What scares me about that is one thing, A Big Thing....  If I am ready for so much change, what does that say about my trust in who Jesus has made me currently?  Am I really so unhappy with so many things that I must completely change? It is really simple actually, yet the hardest challenge I have ever been faced with.  In order to truly find comfort in all of these areas (that I guess I really am not happy with), I must find how I can glorify God through each and every one of them.  That is the problem in these areas. I have wanted to do these things well for myself, not God. 

So, it is ok to be ready for change, even big and numerous changes.  As long as I am making changes to glorify our amazing God and chase closer to Christ.  That really is what I am wanting to do...Chase after Jesus!  I want people to see Him in my actions, not me.  I want to live FOR Him, not for me (or others for that matter).  I want Him, not me!

Romans 12: 1-2 says, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship.  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will."

This is a HUGE request! "Offer your bodies as a living sacrifice" What I have been saying to God through my actions recently is honestly a flat out No! I want to do what God asks, I fear Him and love Him so much that my desire is to follow and offer myself to him, but if I really look at recent thoughts vs. actions I am consumed with myself and not of God.  I am thinking that I should be reading in the Bible, praying, doing devotions, journaling, working out, cleaning my house, taking time with my kids, etc.  I have the intentions, but the actions have not followed.  I WANT to offer my body as a living sacrifice, but then that pesky thing gets in the way...ME!

I am ready to "be transformed by the renewing of your mind." I really am! It is 7:46 am and I am out of bed.  So...God had to bring noisy roofers to my house to bang away and force me out, but I am up and moving!  I am starting my day with Him (and coffee of course).  I am thankful for this morning!  The test for me will be tomorrow when the roofers are not here and I have a choice to make!  What transformation do I really want? I can sit around and feel sorry for myself that I didn't get things done the way I wanted to (conform to the pattern of this world) OR I can take action and allow Jesus to give me the strength to get done what I need to in a day!

I have to be careful however.  Before I take action, I need to ensure that my actions are to glorify God and not for others to look at me and think that I have it all together.  I am not to do this for others (which is REALLY hard for me not to do), but I must do all of these things as a living sacrifice for Jesus!

It's like shaving my legs. I have the tools, the strength, and the ability to shave.  But do I always use them, no.  I have seasons when I shave more than others.  Once I do shave I now have options.  Do I just shave to my knees and wear capris today? Do I shave just above the knee and wear shorts? Do I care about the back of my legs? Knees are a pain so do I just take a few swipes there and pretend I missed or do I look from every angle so the light shines just right on them and I can assure I got every last hair.  One option I struggle with, do I shave my feet and toes? Some people do and some don't.  What is the "right" thing to do? Does it really matter? Who am I shaving for?

I know I am not the only one who thinks this hard about the simple task of shaving. I also know that I am not the only one who thinks so hard about chasing after Jesus and then does the minimum.  Do I jump in all the way or just a little? Do I care about the minor details or just the big stuff?  Am I praying in "seasons" or daily?

Now don't get me wrong, I find shaving far less amazing as spending time with our gracious Lord, but I do believe a simple task like this can give us a clear understanding to the choices we have in big stuff.  Folding clothes and putting them away would be another stumbling block for me.  My intentions are there, but the action isn't. 

So through all of this icky stuff, I am ready!  I AM ready to change.  I AM ready for God! I AM ready to worship every moment of every day!  Will I stumble? Well, do I shave my legs every day? Yes I will stumble.  And sometimes it will hurt!  But I can be reassured that God will be there to light the way, pick me up again, and love me unconditionally. 

John 8:12 says, "When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

So I am ready to shine the light for the GREAT I AM!  Here is what I need for you to do.  Push me!  Remind me!  Ask me questions! I am ready for life to take hold and to be transformed by renewing my mind, but I also know that I need accountability to do that.  I will be seeking that accountability through Jesus, but a little nudge from friends may be how Jesus shines his light on me to keep me focused and ready. 

I am ready!  Let's do this!